Tuesday, September 16, 2008

YAY FOR ONCE UPON A TIME!


Once upon a time there was a not so little girl named Helga. Helga was from Sweden. She hasn't been able to tell us where she lives because she is too busy consuming chocolate.
So this is the story of Helga and how she saved a little town of... (insert town name here) 's chocolate factory.
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The story begins when Helga was in her room listening to some pro yodelers.. When her mother busted her door open and told her that the chocolate factory was shutting down. Helga was devastated "VHY are they doing that" she asked.
"There's an evil genius vho wants to take over the factory!" Her mother replied, as she handed Helga a 5lb chocolate bar. Helga sobbed while she ate her chocolate. The next day Helga went for a walk.. a short very short walk, but a walk none the less, down to the chocolate factory and stared at it. There were several people outside and they looked kind of sad. Helga couldn't keep her mouth shut and had to ask "Vere you guys the vorkers here?" as one of the workers looked at Helga, it seemed as if he had been frozen in shock. Helga looked puzzled and waddled her way back to her house. It turns out the worker that was frozen in shock was Canadian and couldn't really handle the cold because they don't have igloos in Canada. Helga arrived home to find her favorite meal on the table, Chocolate soup and chocolate bread. Without hesitation Helga sat down and ate her food. Still shocked by the chocolate factory's closure she made her way to bed.
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The next morning Helga awoke with a brilliant plan "I vill save the chocolate factory!" she exclaimed and semi rushed downstairs to eat her chocolate cereal with chocolate milk. After breakfast she marched down to the factory, she waddled past the barber, and the bakery. She went to the factory gates and some how managed to fit through the bars of the gate. She snuck up the stairs, down the hallway, and through the corridor only to see the evil genius. She over heard him on the phone.. it seemed as if he were telling one of his buddies that he was going to make a vegetable factory. His skin was orange like carrots and his hair was green like peas. He was wearing an odd black hat with the letters DL. If you were to look closer you would see that it said "Dr.Lettus". She was frightened and had seen enough for the day.

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She quickly shuffled to her house and went right to her room to make plans to save the chocolate factory. The next morning came fast for her, She decided to get dressed up as a tomato. She snuck back up the stairs down the hallway, and back through the corridor. She jumped right into the tube so it got jammed. Dr.Lettus came out in anger and said "WHat is wrong?!" All he heard were little giggles. He walked to the tube with the big red tomato and said "WHat are you doing in there not so little girl?" She replied with "I'm trying to save chocolate". Dr.Lettus was puzzled he explained to Helga that he wasn't taking away the chocolate factory, he was just adding VEGETABLE OIL so it could keep running properly. Helga felt very foolish and apologised to the man. She soon asked what he was saying about the vegetable factory. He told her he was making one everywhere in America because people are obese. She soon then asked "Is Sveden getting one too?" Dr. Lettus said yes, and he promised her eating vegetables isn't as gross as it seemed.
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SO Moral of the story,
I learned that Stereotyping people isn't right, I'm sure not all Swedish people LOVE chocolate, are fat and like to listening to pro yodelers in their spare time.
Other moral of the story.
EAT YOUR MAW FUCKING VEGETABLES!!!!

*now for pictures*




^^Helga ^^

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