Link Alexander!!!!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
It's been a long, long time.
Wow, I almost forgot about this. Well, until I needed somewhere to post my worst week ever rant.
So, here it goes...
First, I am, and hopefully still will be pregnant. This is not an upsetting fact for me, as I've always wanted kids. My fiancee and I found out we were pregnant around August 5. Again, it was exciting news. By my last rag cycle ( I know, TMI! sorry) which was on July 2nd, I should have been about 11 weeks this week. Being that was when I actually got pregnant. Now, I've had my first prenatal check up and everything seemed to be fine. I had my first ultrasound yesterday, which was supposed to be a dating ultrasound. I drank so much water that it hurt to hold it in! I actually cried, it sucked. Anyways, after 20 minutes of the ultrasound tech pushing on my super full bladder he quietly left the room without saying a word to me. I was worried something was wrong right then and there. He came back in and asked me to empty my bladder so they could do a trans vaginal ultrasound. They looked and looked and still said nothing to me. When I asked them if they saw anything, the only thing they said was " we just take the pictures". That made me mad. I asked when I could talk to someone and they told me I had to call later that day to see what the results were. Okay, first of all, if you're an ultrasound tech, and you've done millions of pregnant ladies you WILL know when something doesn't seem right. Second, don't not tell me anything and then tell me to go home and wait, FUCK YOU!
Okay, so I go upstairs to the maternity clinic and ask the doctor there if she could get my records and results so I could know what was going on. She had us wait in the waiting room for what seemed like forever! After she got my results, she asked us to come into the room. We sat down and she started off with.. "are you sure you have your dates correct? " I said of course. She went on to say that I have the gestational sac and it measured at 6 weeks and 3 days, but there's no fetal pole and no heart beat. I automatically tuned everything else she was saying out, tears came streaming down my face and I was completely heartbroken. She then said that I could have gotten my dates wrong and that I could just be at 6 weeks now. According to some people, 6 weeks is still too early to see anything. Then she went on to say that she's leaning more toward a "bad pregnancy" or a missed miscarriage. Again, broke my heart. She said that if it was indeed a miscarriage, that it'll carry itself out within two weeks, but to be sure, she sent me to get blood work done to see if my HCG levels were rising like they were supposed to instead of dropping. I go back this Friday for more blood work. She said that they would call me on Friday afternoon at the earliest if they knew anything. If not we will have to wait till Monday, our next scheduled prenatal appointment. I have never hoped and wished so hard in my life that everything would be okay. I'm absolutely terrified and I really don't know what to do.
Colton seems to think that everything is going to be okay, and the baby is just being an asshole. I really hope he's right.
THAT was the first part of my bad week! Here's the second part!
I recently had gotten hired at a salon! YAY! I was so happy, although they were going to teach me from ground up. Unfortunately, she called today and said that I wasn't a match for the salon. Meaning "because you aren't making money and you're costing us money, then we have to let you go" I was incredibly devastated, after going what I went through and am still going through with this pregnancy.
I figured though, now would be the perfect time to start up my cupcake business with my friend Michelle! It's going to be great, I love baking, I love hanging out with her, I love making other people fat! (Ha! Suckers!)
So, not only do I not have a job, I may not have a baby either. To be quite honest, I'm not sure why bad things happen to me all the time, even my friends have been saying that I've been getting shit on and it's not fair!
I've been told everything happens for a reason, if anyone cares to shed light on how bad things happening to me has reasoning behind it, please do. It'd be muchly appreciated!
So, here it goes...
First, I am, and hopefully still will be pregnant. This is not an upsetting fact for me, as I've always wanted kids. My fiancee and I found out we were pregnant around August 5. Again, it was exciting news. By my last rag cycle ( I know, TMI! sorry) which was on July 2nd, I should have been about 11 weeks this week. Being that was when I actually got pregnant. Now, I've had my first prenatal check up and everything seemed to be fine. I had my first ultrasound yesterday, which was supposed to be a dating ultrasound. I drank so much water that it hurt to hold it in! I actually cried, it sucked. Anyways, after 20 minutes of the ultrasound tech pushing on my super full bladder he quietly left the room without saying a word to me. I was worried something was wrong right then and there. He came back in and asked me to empty my bladder so they could do a trans vaginal ultrasound. They looked and looked and still said nothing to me. When I asked them if they saw anything, the only thing they said was " we just take the pictures". That made me mad. I asked when I could talk to someone and they told me I had to call later that day to see what the results were. Okay, first of all, if you're an ultrasound tech, and you've done millions of pregnant ladies you WILL know when something doesn't seem right. Second, don't not tell me anything and then tell me to go home and wait, FUCK YOU!
Okay, so I go upstairs to the maternity clinic and ask the doctor there if she could get my records and results so I could know what was going on. She had us wait in the waiting room for what seemed like forever! After she got my results, she asked us to come into the room. We sat down and she started off with.. "are you sure you have your dates correct? " I said of course. She went on to say that I have the gestational sac and it measured at 6 weeks and 3 days, but there's no fetal pole and no heart beat. I automatically tuned everything else she was saying out, tears came streaming down my face and I was completely heartbroken. She then said that I could have gotten my dates wrong and that I could just be at 6 weeks now. According to some people, 6 weeks is still too early to see anything. Then she went on to say that she's leaning more toward a "bad pregnancy" or a missed miscarriage. Again, broke my heart. She said that if it was indeed a miscarriage, that it'll carry itself out within two weeks, but to be sure, she sent me to get blood work done to see if my HCG levels were rising like they were supposed to instead of dropping. I go back this Friday for more blood work. She said that they would call me on Friday afternoon at the earliest if they knew anything. If not we will have to wait till Monday, our next scheduled prenatal appointment. I have never hoped and wished so hard in my life that everything would be okay. I'm absolutely terrified and I really don't know what to do.
Colton seems to think that everything is going to be okay, and the baby is just being an asshole. I really hope he's right.
THAT was the first part of my bad week! Here's the second part!
I recently had gotten hired at a salon! YAY! I was so happy, although they were going to teach me from ground up. Unfortunately, she called today and said that I wasn't a match for the salon. Meaning "because you aren't making money and you're costing us money, then we have to let you go" I was incredibly devastated, after going what I went through and am still going through with this pregnancy.
I figured though, now would be the perfect time to start up my cupcake business with my friend Michelle! It's going to be great, I love baking, I love hanging out with her, I love making other people fat! (Ha! Suckers!)
So, not only do I not have a job, I may not have a baby either. To be quite honest, I'm not sure why bad things happen to me all the time, even my friends have been saying that I've been getting shit on and it's not fair!
I've been told everything happens for a reason, if anyone cares to shed light on how bad things happening to me has reasoning behind it, please do. It'd be muchly appreciated!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Another day another rant.
It really pisses me off when girls pretend to be friends with someone on second, and then then talk shit about them the next. It drives me absolutely bonkers. I'll admit to doing it, just like everyone else, but we're all adults, there's no reason why we should have to pretend to like someone and then talk shit about them the next. If you don't like them, don't talk to them. If you do like them, don't talk shit behind their back. It's really simple. REALLY REALLY simple! I'd like to see what people say about me, or have said about me that were my friends at the time. I'm going to assume none of it is nice, seeing as girls are bitches and like to bitch about everything. That's the main reason why I hate being friends with girls. They're vindictive bitches.. I love being friends with guys, what you see is what you get! Plus you never hear "Ew, mud?! I'm not getting out of the truck, that's disgusting!!" I fucking LOVE getting dirty! :D Mud is awesome, 4x4ing is awesome. Hiking in the pouring rain is awesome...GUYS ARE AWESOME in general anyways lol.
On another note, I sometimes wish more people I knew read my blog. Or, more people in general. I'm not sure if most of my posts even get read. Oh well I suppose, I like to write and rant and just get stuff off my chest. This is just the place I get to write it to! I like to write things down so I remember them too! I haven't really been updating my blog much, I've been too busy trying to train Tundra and working. Watching little girls really wears you out. I didn't think that it would take a toll, cause I love watching kids and playing with them. It really does take a toll on you, it's insane how much you learn working with kids!
I've got to admit, I miss relaxing with Colton! I just want to sit with him and watch movies all night and talk! I can't wait for the summer! I can't wait for Colton to be home! Only 2 weeks!! :D well, 9 days till he's home for good and I can sleep next to him at night, and wake up to him in the morning!!
I really don't have much else to write, so I'll leave it at that and clearly, I'll write when I've got something to write about!! :)
On another note, I sometimes wish more people I knew read my blog. Or, more people in general. I'm not sure if most of my posts even get read. Oh well I suppose, I like to write and rant and just get stuff off my chest. This is just the place I get to write it to! I like to write things down so I remember them too! I haven't really been updating my blog much, I've been too busy trying to train Tundra and working. Watching little girls really wears you out. I didn't think that it would take a toll, cause I love watching kids and playing with them. It really does take a toll on you, it's insane how much you learn working with kids!
I've got to admit, I miss relaxing with Colton! I just want to sit with him and watch movies all night and talk! I can't wait for the summer! I can't wait for Colton to be home! Only 2 weeks!! :D well, 9 days till he's home for good and I can sleep next to him at night, and wake up to him in the morning!!
I really don't have much else to write, so I'll leave it at that and clearly, I'll write when I've got something to write about!! :)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Oh.
I hate being away from Colton! He's away for school and I only get to see him on weekends. It's really hard for me because he's like my best friend and soul mate all in one. It's hard not having someone to talk to till you fall asleep, or wake up and see them smiling at you, or coming home from work and not seeing someone sitting on the couch waiting for dinner.
I try so hard every time he leaves not to cry, and it seems like it gets harder and harder to do so. I thought always having someone here with me, or having a puppy would distract me from missing him, but it seems like it makes it more difficult. I find myself doing things that I wish he was here doing them with me. Like, training our puppy for example. It's hard to do it alone, and when he was home this weekend, it made it a little easier.
It does make it great when I see him again, because I've gone all week without seeing him and then all of a sudden he's home and it's exciting! He'll be home in 5 sleeps though. So, until then, I'll train our puppy and work, and hope the week goes by super fast.
Here, is a picture of our puppy
I try so hard every time he leaves not to cry, and it seems like it gets harder and harder to do so. I thought always having someone here with me, or having a puppy would distract me from missing him, but it seems like it makes it more difficult. I find myself doing things that I wish he was here doing them with me. Like, training our puppy for example. It's hard to do it alone, and when he was home this weekend, it made it a little easier.
It does make it great when I see him again, because I've gone all week without seeing him and then all of a sudden he's home and it's exciting! He'll be home in 5 sleeps though. So, until then, I'll train our puppy and work, and hope the week goes by super fast.
Here, is a picture of our puppy
Saturday, February 25, 2012
This. Is Doug.
Sky says:
He wants tacos for dinner anyways so I'm making him tacos
doug says:
be hella bitchy
and be all like
YO
TAKE ME OUT FOR SOME
what do girls drink?
those drinks with slush?
well heck, i will call it a booze slushy
Sky says:
haha okay
doug says:
YO COLT, TAKE ME FOR FUCKING BOOZE SLUSHIES AND TATER SKINS. and be all nice and ready to go. and have osmething waiting for him, like. i dont know. i would be happy with a mtn dew or coffee crisp. that way he looks retarded if he doesnt get you those tater skins..
Monday, February 20, 2012
I love you more than words can describe
Sky says:
What do you think of me?
Colton says:
as my love forever
Sky says:
As your love forever?
Colton says:
my one and only girl
Sky says:
You're my one and only.
Colton says:
forever and ever
Sky says:
forever and ever, babe
What do you think of me?
Colton says:
as my love forever
Sky says:
As your love forever?
Colton says:
my one and only girl
Sky says:
You're my one and only.
Colton says:
forever and ever
Sky says:
forever and ever, babe
Thursday, January 19, 2012
MOVING AGAAIN
Moving again!! Outta my moms house finally!! I'm pretty excited!
We can have Coltons kitty Turtle live with us!! I don't have to deal with my mom screaming at me! Ah, I'm moving this Sunday and Monday! I don't have pictures of the place, but the front of the Condo buildings look like this.
We can have Coltons kitty Turtle live with us!! I don't have to deal with my mom screaming at me! Ah, I'm moving this Sunday and Monday! I don't have pictures of the place, but the front of the Condo buildings look like this.
So yes, I'm moving :D I'm really excited.
I'll post more pictures of the place when I get settled in!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Fuck life.
Seriously contemplating doing something stupid.
Why?
For some kind of fucking attention from my mom.
Sitting here every fucking day absolutely neglected by her and my dad. I don't matter anymore apparently. I ask for something and it's made into a big deal that I want it. My little sister wants something she gets it without a fucking peep. Same goes for my brothers. I don't understand how that's fair. I ask for body wash, or deodorant, and I get flipped on. I ask for something to eat, and I get flipped on. I get called fat, stupid, ugly, worthless.. You name it, and I get called in on a daily basis. It's seriously getting to the point where, I don't even know how to function in society anymore with out me having extreme anxiety.
I'm done. I can't take it anymore. It's seriously driving me insane. I can't even pretend to be happy, my boyfriend hates the fact that I'm always sad. I don't know how to change it. My attempts at finding work anywhere are failing, like I fail at everything else. I have no where to go. I'm torn on what to do. I just, I'm so god damn broken it's not even funny. I sit here all day and think about how nice it would be if I weren't around. I honestly don't think anyone in my family would give two fucks if I were gone.
I'll be gone for a few hours with my boyfriend, and then come back and I have a nasty Facebook message saying "You're a fucking useless piece of shit, I don't understand why you don't pack your shit and leave." Sister goes out for the night, drinks till she's fucking puking everywhere, then drinks some more. Comes home, makes so much fucking noise, eats everything in the house and then passes out on the couch. NOT HER BED, the COUCH. She still doesn't get yelled at. I'm literally at my wits end now.
Help?
Why?
For some kind of fucking attention from my mom.
Sitting here every fucking day absolutely neglected by her and my dad. I don't matter anymore apparently. I ask for something and it's made into a big deal that I want it. My little sister wants something she gets it without a fucking peep. Same goes for my brothers. I don't understand how that's fair. I ask for body wash, or deodorant, and I get flipped on. I ask for something to eat, and I get flipped on. I get called fat, stupid, ugly, worthless.. You name it, and I get called in on a daily basis. It's seriously getting to the point where, I don't even know how to function in society anymore with out me having extreme anxiety.
I'm done. I can't take it anymore. It's seriously driving me insane. I can't even pretend to be happy, my boyfriend hates the fact that I'm always sad. I don't know how to change it. My attempts at finding work anywhere are failing, like I fail at everything else. I have no where to go. I'm torn on what to do. I just, I'm so god damn broken it's not even funny. I sit here all day and think about how nice it would be if I weren't around. I honestly don't think anyone in my family would give two fucks if I were gone.
I'll be gone for a few hours with my boyfriend, and then come back and I have a nasty Facebook message saying "You're a fucking useless piece of shit, I don't understand why you don't pack your shit and leave." Sister goes out for the night, drinks till she's fucking puking everywhere, then drinks some more. Comes home, makes so much fucking noise, eats everything in the house and then passes out on the couch. NOT HER BED, the COUCH. She still doesn't get yelled at. I'm literally at my wits end now.
Help?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
My man
This is my Colton!! Oh, pleaaase excuse the terribad picture of myself. Yuck!!! He's super cute in it though! haha
Ugh
Been having horrible sleeps lately, it really sucks.
I woke up, walked Colton down stairs and said good bye to him like I usually do. Came back upstairs and napped until about 9:15. So about an hour nap. Woke up, and made some breakfast, 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of bacon. I wanted so much more bacon, but am trying to watch what I eat. Anyways, finished eating, and started to look for jobs online. Now, I'm feeling super nauseous, I've got a headache and I feel like I'm going to die. Not sure what happened between then and now. Just the smell of my dad making lunch makes me feel like I'm going to vomit.
So, now I'm here sitting in my bed, on my laptop writing a blog post hoping that I stop feeling like this.
BLEGH
I woke up, walked Colton down stairs and said good bye to him like I usually do. Came back upstairs and napped until about 9:15. So about an hour nap. Woke up, and made some breakfast, 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of bacon. I wanted so much more bacon, but am trying to watch what I eat. Anyways, finished eating, and started to look for jobs online. Now, I'm feeling super nauseous, I've got a headache and I feel like I'm going to die. Not sure what happened between then and now. Just the smell of my dad making lunch makes me feel like I'm going to vomit.
So, now I'm here sitting in my bed, on my laptop writing a blog post hoping that I stop feeling like this.
BLEGH
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
DEAR
Victoria Secret Models;
Thank you for making me feel like shit about my body image, apparently you guys are the definition of beauty, so again, thank you for ruining what real women should be.
Sincerely,
Really? How much did those boobs cost you?!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sad day.
Well, I didn't get the job, she said it was because I didn't have enough experience. Now, let me ask you this.. How the hell are you supposed to get experience when no one will hire you, BECAUSE you don't have experience?!
So, needless to say, I feel like a fucking failure. I feel like the whole year I was in school, being emotionally abused by my teacher has been for nothing. Now I'm $20,000 in the hole. I'm pretty upset right now.
If anyone local reads this, if you know of anyone who is willing to hire someone that doesn't have much experience or needs their haircut please let me know. =(
Oh, I've also started a new blog for all the stuff I've done! Go take a look and let me know what you think!
http://capellimondo.blogspot.com/
So, needless to say, I feel like a fucking failure. I feel like the whole year I was in school, being emotionally abused by my teacher has been for nothing. Now I'm $20,000 in the hole. I'm pretty upset right now.
If anyone local reads this, if you know of anyone who is willing to hire someone that doesn't have much experience or needs their haircut please let me know. =(
Oh, I've also started a new blog for all the stuff I've done! Go take a look and let me know what you think!
http://capellimondo.blogspot.com/
Monday, December 12, 2011
Yuuuuuup
Seems that these days I can never find time to blog. Even though I never do anything during the day, it seems like my days are filled with shit that make me too busy to post!! Kind of sucks.
Anyways, I'm all moved into my new place. I'm also hoping that after Colton is done school we can move out. Again, hoping I'll have a job by then. It's proving to be pretty difficult to find work in town, and I don't want to move out of town to work. I just don't want to leave Colton here and have me live in Kelowna or something. That and I think that's the last place I'd want to live. The ex is there and it's pretty awkward seeing him. Kinda funny though when I went and got my stuff from him he seemed pretty impressed Colton owned his own vehicle.. Not to mention it's an awesome truck ;)
Anyways, I'm not sure the purpose of this entry was, seeing as I have nothing to talk about. Although, I am going to be baking pretty soon!! Pretty exciting, I'll take pictures and post them on here of all the stuff I bake!!
Until then, I don't think I'll be posting for awhile... Unless something comes up that's post worthy. Stay Tuned for the baking pictures and recipes!! =)
Anyways, I'm all moved into my new place. I'm also hoping that after Colton is done school we can move out. Again, hoping I'll have a job by then. It's proving to be pretty difficult to find work in town, and I don't want to move out of town to work. I just don't want to leave Colton here and have me live in Kelowna or something. That and I think that's the last place I'd want to live. The ex is there and it's pretty awkward seeing him. Kinda funny though when I went and got my stuff from him he seemed pretty impressed Colton owned his own vehicle.. Not to mention it's an awesome truck ;)
Anyways, I'm not sure the purpose of this entry was, seeing as I have nothing to talk about. Although, I am going to be baking pretty soon!! Pretty exciting, I'll take pictures and post them on here of all the stuff I bake!!
Until then, I don't think I'll be posting for awhile... Unless something comes up that's post worthy. Stay Tuned for the baking pictures and recipes!! =)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
la la la laa
Long time no post. Hope you guys will forgive me… If anyone follows this anyways ha ha.
So, there's been a few a changes, Colton and I are moving with my parents to a new place, not my choice really but $1700 a month is a little hefty to pay for rent. I still haven't found a job yet, the working world where I am sucks ball sacks. I am working on it though! When I get a job I plan on saving 1/2 of every cheque and then when Colton's done school I can use what I saved up and we can get a place! We're aiming for July 1st ha ha. It's a far way away, but he goes to school in February for 6 weeks, and I think he's going to do back to back courses so after he's done one course, he'll do the next. So that's 12 weeks of schooling, which gives us time apart (which I'm NOT stoked about) and it gives me time to save. Unfortunately, the house doesn't allow pets, SO Colton and I can't get the puppy we wanted and all the animals we have now have to be sold. It makes me upset. I feel bad because Colton wanted the kind of puppy we were going to get for quite awhile, and when my mom said we could get one, she decided we were moving into a place that doesn't allow pets. So his dreams were crushed. I mean, there's always later in life, like... when we get our own place and stuff. The only thing about that is the people who were selling him his puppy, this is their last litter of puppies. Poor Colton. I feel bad.
I am pretty stoked to be starting my life with Colton within the next year! He actually cares about me, and it makes me feel special and wanted. Which… quite frankly, I've never felt that way before. Still engaged, which is a plus! Kinda weird to me, but changes in your life sometimes feel weird… Or, that's what I'm assuming. He's basically my everything, he sticks up for me constantly and you know, it's a nice feeling when someone sticks up for me… I know my ex never did, but that's okay... Some people are more cowardly than others. ;)
Other than whats written above nothing else is new really, I don't have a very exciting life... Yet! I'll post more when I have the time for sure!
So, there's been a few a changes, Colton and I are moving with my parents to a new place, not my choice really but $1700 a month is a little hefty to pay for rent. I still haven't found a job yet, the working world where I am sucks ball sacks. I am working on it though! When I get a job I plan on saving 1/2 of every cheque and then when Colton's done school I can use what I saved up and we can get a place! We're aiming for July 1st ha ha. It's a far way away, but he goes to school in February for 6 weeks, and I think he's going to do back to back courses so after he's done one course, he'll do the next. So that's 12 weeks of schooling, which gives us time apart (which I'm NOT stoked about) and it gives me time to save. Unfortunately, the house doesn't allow pets, SO Colton and I can't get the puppy we wanted and all the animals we have now have to be sold. It makes me upset. I feel bad because Colton wanted the kind of puppy we were going to get for quite awhile, and when my mom said we could get one, she decided we were moving into a place that doesn't allow pets. So his dreams were crushed. I mean, there's always later in life, like... when we get our own place and stuff. The only thing about that is the people who were selling him his puppy, this is their last litter of puppies. Poor Colton. I feel bad.
I am pretty stoked to be starting my life with Colton within the next year! He actually cares about me, and it makes me feel special and wanted. Which… quite frankly, I've never felt that way before. Still engaged, which is a plus! Kinda weird to me, but changes in your life sometimes feel weird… Or, that's what I'm assuming. He's basically my everything, he sticks up for me constantly and you know, it's a nice feeling when someone sticks up for me… I know my ex never did, but that's okay... Some people are more cowardly than others. ;)
Other than whats written above nothing else is new really, I don't have a very exciting life... Yet! I'll post more when I have the time for sure!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
YEP!
I have a long day ahead of me!! Colton's all moved in, just theres' boxes everywhere!! Also I'm moving rooms again! So I've gotta move all my shit out of my room, to move my sisters in, to move my stuff into my new room. It's pretty complicated! & I get my new bedroom set soon!! I'm really excited! Tomorrow, I'm doing a haircut!! I'm pretty excited. & Coltons mama gave me the coolest freaking mug I've ever seen!!!! It's LION KING!!!!!!!!! I freaking love The Lion King!! Favorite movie of all time !
Oh yeah, Coltons ex's cat pissed on Coltons couches, anyone know a good way to get the smell out!? I'm stumped, I've used a huge bottle of Febreeze already! Still stinky! Although Colton said that it doesn't smell as bad as I think it does, he said it just smells kind of musty. I wonder if my smelling is off. I'm also still looking for a job here in town, so to all the people I know, if you read my blog, keep me posted!!
I'm going to go now and start moving shit around!!! =) Oh, that's the inside of my awesome mug Coltons mama got me !!
Oh yeah, Coltons ex's cat pissed on Coltons couches, anyone know a good way to get the smell out!? I'm stumped, I've used a huge bottle of Febreeze already! Still stinky! Although Colton said that it doesn't smell as bad as I think it does, he said it just smells kind of musty. I wonder if my smelling is off. I'm also still looking for a job here in town, so to all the people I know, if you read my blog, keep me posted!!
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