argh

I've been feeling a little down lately, I don't know if it's because I don't spend as much time with Ryan as I used to, Or if it's because of everything that's going on around it. You see, Ryan works at a convenience store at night, it's really not convenient for me. He goes to work at midnight, comes home at 8:30am the next day, and depending on if I work or not, he sleeps away the day. If I don't work during the day it's almost the same thing, I just get bored and wake him up earlier, which causes him to get angry with me, because apparently I never let him sleep. I know some people like my friends Coleman and Alex don't get to see each other because Alex is in Germany for an exchange student thing.. & I really shouldn't be complaining.. Because they have it a million times worse. It's just sometimes I wish Ryan would understand that I get really lonely and really bored when he's not around or awake, It's not fair to me, but it's not fair to him at the same time.

Then there's the stress from wanting to move out, trying to find a place, and helping my mama out with the bills and things. It's hard finding a place, it's always the same shit, I don't have a reference from a landlord, seeing as I've lived at home my whole life. I'm a non smoker, I don't drink and I don't have any stupid parties, I'm a perfect god damn tenant. Well in all reality anyways, I wont be living alone of course I'll have Ryan. Also I'm caught because my mom will be the only one paying bills in the house if I leave, it's not fair to her. Life just really is a bummer right now.

Except one thing actually, I just became the assistant manager/supervisor of the dollar store I've been working at! It's pretty exciting, I've only been working there for like 3 months ha ha, So I'm proud of myself, for once. Other than that nothings new, I'm going to Saskatchewan in June. Alex comes home in June, So does Coleman... So That's pretty exciting. I get paid Friday that's pretty cool. My hair is no longer a whiteish tone of blonde, it's a dark brown with purple hues...or so it seems. Like I said I've got a bummer life, and nothing ever exciting to report. One day I'll be exciting.. No promises though.

Well, It seems I have nothing at all left to write in this thing that no one reads ha ha. So, I'll post more when I have something new to report I suppose.